Friday, May 15, 2015

An Ex-Homeschooler's Guide to Surviving a Week At Home

Whither going home for a long weekend, a weeklong visit, or for the summer, visiting your childhood home and family after college is difficult.  The family has changed and so have you.  After spending a year away from home or more, the family dynamics are different. Your younger sibling have become accustomed to being the oldest in the house. You have also changed.  You’ve experienced the world by yourself and have grown used to the freedom of doing what you want when you want without having to ask for permission or approval.
I’ve had my ups and mostly downs with going home.  Since entering college, I haven’t been home for more than a week, not counting my first Christmas break which was brutal. Now I’m home for a week visiting the family before I start my new job back in my college town where I plan to live for the rest of the summer.  I’ve learned a few things from being home these last five days.

  1. Pretend not to notice how your younger brother, who is 16, is still having his mother read him his textbooks, is still doing 5th grade math (where you’ve seen his mother holding his pencil and writing the answers for him), and who you haven’t seen touch a science book. Also pretend not to notice that “school” is a only a couple hours a day or until his mother gets mad and frustrated, whichever comes first.  Yup, he’s really, really far behind in school.  You also will wonder if he will ever get out from under his mother’s thumb with him not being about to do some basic math, writing, and reading. Just be grateful that you got away when you did. Maybe one day you can come back and help get them out.
  2. Also pretend not to notice how your siblings don’t have any friends, it’ll just make you sadder.  Yeah, so the last time you know your younger brother left the house was on Sunday and that was just because of church.  You know for a fact that he hasn’t seen or interacted with kids his own age because none have stopped by, I mean, he only has one friend.  And church, that shouldn’t even count since your younger siblings aren’t allowed to go to Sunday school or children’s church because then real adults would see how far behind they are in school.  At least your younger sister went to speech and occupational therapy on Monday, so that’s something right?
  3. Hide any progressive ideas you have from your family. Yes, you’ve learned a lot of really cool stuff in college, but your family isn’t open to that kind of “hogwash”.  So it’s best that you keep the evolutionary science to yourself.  If you have wavered in your faith, definitely DON’T tell them about that.  Unless you would rather be disowned from your family.
  4. Hide your significant other.  Anything about him and her.  Keep the information to a minimum.  Anything that you do wrong will be attributed to your loved one, because you have changed and that must be the other person influencing you.  Anything you say about that person can and will be held against you and your loved one. Your words will be twisted into ways where only they can follow the logic behind it.
  5. Do try your hardest to be nice, friendly, and participate in family activities. Just know that whatever you do is never good enough. Because your mother always points out how you used to do this or that and now you’re not like that anymore. You’ve tried to be friendly and have conversation. Though there’s not much to say since you have to hide a lot to protect the peace. You mother will still point out how it’s not good enough, you sleep too much, you’re on the computer too much, you don’t talk enough.  Your parents will fail to realize that you aren’t fresh out of high school anymore.  They will not notice or take into consideration that you are twenty and have your own apartment and for all intents and purposes function on your own.
  6. Do meet up with friends back at home, if only to get out of the house. Go to the movies, get ice cream, have a sleepover.  You will need the break from your family and staying in the house all the time.  If you don’t have any friends at home, volunteer to run errands, or take your favorite siblings out to ice cream.  It can’t be seen as you not spending time with family if you are bonding with your siblings.

  7. Do keep up communications with your college friends. Your parents might complain that you’re always on your phone, but as long as it keeps you sane, it’s worth it. Make plans with your friends from college to meet up so you have something to look forward to. Vent about your family if you need to, just make sure to spread it between friends so that one friend doesn't only hear from you when you want to vent.

As long as you follow these seven guidelines, your stay at home should be mostly pleasant with few conflicts. Goodluck!

No comments:

Post a Comment